Holiday Derailment: A month of no loss, only gain

Was hoping others might commiserate? I do understand that my response to this medication is abnormal but please tell me I'm not the only one that had a totally miserable month for weight loss.

The entire month of November has been a total wash for me. Not a single pound lost and honestly, I've gained weight :( I'm at the highest dose 15mg so there is nowhere for me to go up from here to help me get more control.

This entire journey on Zepbound I have had to be SO careful to lose any weight. Counting my calories, white-knuckling through the day, denying cravings, going to bed "hungry"... When I finally hit 15mg in October, it was the first time I felt the medicine finally working for me a little.

I wanted to just enjoy November since the medication was finally doing a little something to help (it seemed) and I had several holiday related events this month (roughly 1-2/week). I didn't count my calories most days, just tried to eat mindfully where I'd only have say... 1 smaller piece of pie, no ice cream. Or I'd fill my plate with more salad and protein and less carbs. Like not denying myself but also just trying to make better choices. On days that were normal, non-event days, I stuck to OMAD.

I guess I was too hopeful.

This is the first month since I've started where I've netted negative on weight loss. I actually gained a couple pounds from the start of the month. I just feel so defeated and miserable. Like I wish this medication would help me where I don't need to obsessively count every single calorie every single day.

I was weighing myself every single day too and the scale would go up and stall (maybe drop a pound but then the next day bump back up two pounds). Now at the final day of the month, I'm 6lbs more than I was at the start of the month.

I'm just so mad at myself, like I should have known better than to just trust the medication to work without me obsessing.

I know I was eating less than I would in years past too. I refused taking leftovers home so as not to tempt myself. I didn't drink alcohol or drinks with calories. I made better choices but it just wasn't enough. It's never enough unless I'm locked down 24/7 on my calories- weighing out everything and counting every single thing.

Now I'm so stressed out about December festivities. I guess I'll just bring lean cuisines to dinner this year and come up with excuses on why I'm "too full" to eat at any parties. Lovely.