I think im gonna relapse after 39 days

GAHDHWHSH I MIGHT BE ABOUT TO RELAPSE AFTER 39 DAYS CLEAN???? I FEEL TOO EMPTY WITHOUT IT IM PRETTY SURE IM GONNA DO IT. HELPPPPPPPPPP(T_T) i PROMISED MY FRIEND TO QUIT, BUT I CANTTTT ITS THE ONLY COPING MECHANISM I'VE FOUND THAT I LIKE AND MY "FRIEND" HAS BEEN MAKING SM COMMEMTS ABOUT SH AND S*IC1D3 TOWARDS ME ITS MAKING IT WORSE ˶ˊᜊˋ˶ if ur reading this after the day this was posted, i've probably already relapsed 🙃