Friend saying they need to pull away suddenly

I just had an online friend say they needed to pull away all of a sudden and I'm kind of confused. We've been texting on Discord for a while. A couple months ago we had planned a voice chat and I ended up calling off because a bunch of family drama came up day-of and I didn't want to be super stressed the first time we talked. They took it the wrong way at the time and blocked me for a bit, but we talked again and came to an understanding, both of us promising to do better about communication.

The next time we chatted I said texting was better for now, and they said they were totally fine with that, so that's how we've been talking since. It's been a couple months just chatting back and forth, and I really thought things were going well. Just yesterday though, they suddenly said they were going to have to pull away because they were sad I didn't want to voice chat. I told them I actually was thinking it would be nice to try voice chatting, which is true, but they said "it's not something you're keen on and that just means we're not compatible enough".

At no point in the entire time that we've been talking have I actually said I wasn't "keen" on voice chatting at all, and they never once said voice chatting was that important to them until today. They haven't said anything at all about wanting to voice chat or preferring it to text, or even that there was a problem at all. In fact, they had made a few statements to the effect of "either voice or text is fine".

So now I feel like they haven't been honest with me and there are other reasons. I opened up to them about my social anxiety too, which makes it even more hurtful they would do something like this. Anyway, I guess I'm wondering if this makes sense given their stated rationale, or if it sounds like maybe there's something else they aren't sharing with me. I don't know what to make of it. I thought we were headed in a good direction. Tbh it just feels hurtful and dishonest, but I want to try and understand. Should I just let it go and move on?

Posted Dec 1, 2025, 3:01 AM UTC

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