I don’t understand why my man loves me at all

I’m 25F and he is 32m.

We’ve been through a lot, because of me.

I broke up with him about a year ago, because my mental health was bad and I felt he deserved better. He was all I had, so once he was gone I attempted to end my life.

It didn’t work, the nurses said he sat at the hospital for days before I woke up.

I racked up extra credit card debt before I was going to die, because I quit my job, and he paid it all off. It was a lot, like a lot. I think it was like 7.5k maybe 8. He tells me I’m never paying him back

I ended up moving in with him after, we’re back together now. I’m going to counselling and am apart of a therapy group.

I do all the cooking and cleaning, and I’m really trying to not be a burden but I just don’t get it

He could easily do better, he owns a business and a house. I dropped out of college, and tried to end my life in a way that was apparently all wrong and I’m lucky I don’t have brain damage. I don’t even have a job.

And in my opinion, I’m really not that pretty.

When I tried to end my life it really hurt him, immediately when I moved in he made me sleep in his bed, put bells on the door knobs, and was worried about me constantly. I wouldn’t do it again, for him.

But it’s hard to understand, I feel like there are so many women that have careers, an education, are pretty and have a stable mental health. So why on earth would he love me?? Like genuinely why.