Being a married single wife (rant)

Well, it sucks. Anyone else currently a married single wife? On the plus side, at least there aren’t any kids to witness the possible resentment brewing. I don’t have real friends to vent to, and I feel like a schoolgirl, writing in a journal.

I’m not sure what karmic price I’m paying for this lonely life I’m living but it’s honestly the worst.

Turning 50 soon, and I don’t feel like I’ve lived life in any meaningful way. I was considering becoming a foster parent so I can put my energies towards something meaningful, but I know I would be alone in that too. At least I have my dogs to keep me company but I just don’t know why anyone would want to just exist like this. Feels like there’s an ocean between us and it’s like pulling teeth to do anything together, so I just quit.