i’m worried that my mom might be secret dying and not directly telling me.

hello. i am not an avid reddit user (hence why i just made this account) so i hope that i’m explaining this the best way that i could and i hope posting this won’t cause me more anxiety lol. my mom just had a very concerning and suspicious talk with me tonight and i’m not sure if i’m overthinking or not since i constantly go into OCD spirals particularly over the topic of death, but it’s making me come to the conclusion that she might be dying and not telling me.

she suffers with Systemic Lupus Erythematosus and it has been something that has affected her life a lot so she has always had health scares, but roughly a year ago, she had a biopsy done and she got a phone call while we were shopping together that indicated that she had a rare form of fatal and aggressive lymphoma. she claims she got more biopsies as a second opinion and it indicated it was just her lupus since it’s called the “great imitator”… but i don’t even know anymore.

back on the topic of tonight, she was randomly saying how her medication hasn’t been working for her (she has been taking chemotherapy for her lupus for a while) and how we “need to pull through” in case something bad were to ever happen to her. she usually had these talks with me and my sister in the past but this one just felt different to me. she was telling me that she’s currently setting up life insurance stuff for me and my siblings, and also writing things that we need to know about her for emergency reasons, going on a rant about how life is small and to find little reasons to appreciate it, and pushing me to be independent immediately so i can “be ready”. i live with her at 23 because i’m unfortunately a little behind in life… but i have never heard my mom talk like this before and it made me cry. she keeps telling me she’s okay but i don’t know.

i’m aware that this is a VERY specific situation so i am not asking for any magical answers, but i want to hear anyone’s opinions on how they feel about this as well so i can think clearly.