r/aplatonic•
indie_berry05

Would I be considered apl-spec?

Sorry if this question is annoying, feel free to remove if need be (I didn't see anything against these types of posts in the rules.)

So, I do have friends. Or at least that's what we refer to each other as. However, I tend to view a lot of these friends as long term connections, there's only a few that I consider friends even when I don't think I feel platonic love or affection.

I sometimes feel a platonic sense of love for the friends I do have, I care about them and what they're going through, and I'm interested in them as a person. Other times though, I don't have that sense of platonic love for them, it feels like they're just people I've known for a while that are in my life. If I'm talking with them, I tend to only want to talk to them about the specific things I'm wanting to chat about, and feel disinterested if they talk about anything else (although, ofc, I don't tell them that, I feel it'd be rude, and I would like to not be completely alone.)

It seems like a 50/50 on whether I feel platonic love for my friends or not (same goes for a qpr, but I don't know if that's relevant.)

I have felt drawn to be friends with specific people before, however it's not very often, usually my friends are just due to them coming up to me, or just through friend group osmosis or something. I don't really know. I just know I hardly ever feel the draw of being friends. And usually I don't consider people my friends unless they've stated that I'm their friend. Usually I just think of them as a connection.

Would that be considered on the apl-spectrum at all? I know it's definitely not fully apl, because I do experience platonic attraction at times. I was just curious if there was a label or something that fit or if I'm just overthinking it.

Posted Dec 1, 2025, 3:07 AM UTC

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