I want an assessment, but I continue to feel invalidated and confused. Please read, any kind of discussion or advice would be very helpful, feeling alone.

My mom has invalidated the idea I could be autistic, she doesn’t understand the concept of me wanting to rule things out, of labels, or validation. I told her I would forget how to walk or speak as a kid, she told me that happens to all of us. My mom is very smart and kind so I’m not sure where this mentality comes from, especially the one believing clay baths can make non verbal kids speak.

*I’m making this post because I just got off the phone with my doctor who I really love. She has helped me so much but when I bring up the idea again of getting an assessment, the conversation feels very unproductive. She tells me well we’re all a little on the spectrum, that’s why it’s a spectrum. And that it’s okay to just call myself “hsp” and have sensory issues. I explained how I researched sensory processing disorder and how I’m always getting bruised or spilling stuff etc and childhood signs and she’s like “we can all be clumsy”. She had a kind approach but I felt like crying when we were done.

She said it doesn’t matter what I call myself and I told her I don’t want to say I’m autistic and that it feels disrespectful if I don’t end up having it to those that do.

I just feel like I will never be able to figure myself out or feel validated. I like being alone, don’t really feel lonely but moments like these make me feel alone in a really uncomfortable sense, where I question myself