how do i (19f) and my boyfriend (19m) figure out a reasonable sleep arangement?

i need some advice. my name is casey and me and my boyfriend xander are struggling to figure out how we can fix our sleep schedules. they are completely different and it’s causing some unwanted tension between us as it is practically the only thing we fall out over. to clarify we are long distance but we live in the same time zone (we both live in the UK). we fall asleep on the phone and i can’t fall asleep without going to bed at the same time as him. i go to bed really really late and cannot go to sleep before 2am at the earliest. whereas he’s narcoleptic and cannot go to bed late at all and tends to fall asleep before 10pm, i then wake him up around 1am because i miss him and then he gets tired again by 2am.

he has to be up around 7am for college most days of the week whereas i have late starts or no college most days meaning even if he wanted to stay up, he can’t as it would effect his next day at college. this means he’s getting me to go to bed at around 1-2am after he’s already had a 3 hour nap and i’m still not tired yet.

the usual advice would be to just go to sleep at different times and just say goodnight when he goes to bed and let me go to sleep whenever i’m tired but as i’ve said, i cannot fall asleep until he’s said goodnight right before i fall asleep. (to clarify we call at around 7pm and stay on the phone until the morning so we are always sleeping on call).

i’m autistic and extremely sensitive meaning when he tries and gets me to sleep when he need to go to bed i panic and struggle to function because i know he needs to sleep but i can’t go to sleep yet. this leads to him comforting me and making sure im okay, then delaying sleep by another half an hour minimum.

we’ve tried letting him nap for hours and then staying awake for a few hours with me then us going to bed a little later but it is messing him up and i’m not able to ‘just fall asleep earlier’. he’s tried forcing himself to stay awake later but his narcolepsy physically doesn’t allow him to and i hate him forcing himself awake. we’ve tried him falling asleep when he needs to but i end up just staying awake the whole night and then he feels so guilty for, in his words, essentially abandoning me and selfishly enjoying his sleep.

any advise would be greatly appreciated!!