Trapped in a 10-Year Self-Sabotage Cycle.How do I let go of paralyzing guilt, restart my life at 27 and change careers?

For the last 10 years my life has been defined by a destructive cycle of avoidance, shame, isolation nd paralysis.

I spent my college years prioritizing fun over my future and it leading to academic failures, lying to my family and adopting an undisciplined life of gaming and unhealthy habits. Before then I was topper in my school.

When the reality of my situation hit instead of fixing it, I doubled down on avoidance. I spent the next 5 years at home supposedly preparing for a highly competitive, high-stakes government job exam (a common, culturally pressured path where I live).

But the guilt of past failures paralyzed me. My internal loop was relentless. Pattern: Avoid work -> Feel shame -> Isolate -> Lose confidence -> Get paralyzed -> Fail ->Avoid again. I wasn't lazy.I was mentally trapped in survival mode, consuming all my energy and preventing me from focusing on long-term goals like career or finances.

I am posting here now because I'm ready to change and need practical advice on how to stop running away from my problems.

My Current Status & Realizations:

I am 27 yrs loser girl and feel stuck while my peers move forward with their lives and careers.

I have realized I don't actually want that government job. The goal was a default choice based on pressure and the sunk-cost fallacy not passion.

I am highly interested in a new path:

Psychology/Counselling. My personal struggles have given me deep empathy, and I believe I can help others.

I need a structured approach to shift from overthinking and paralysis to consistent action.

I am genuinely seeking your unbiased perspective and practical guidance😞🙏🙏🙏.