Slave diaries 1.12.2025

I've been awake all night overthinking life so uh enjoy this 5am diary entry.

This weekend as usual we had our weekly dynamic discussion with Master. During these discussions we talk about the dynamic, desires, worries and in general dynamic related what is going well and what not. Master voiced concern over my rule breaking.

I am ashamed to admit I have not been a good girl this week. I keep forgetting to do certain things thus I keep getting punishments. One of these things is eating a warm meal once every 24 hours. Now a normal person would think well isn’t that easy, we humans have lunch and dinner every day. Well eeeh my eating habits are what they are. I might call a slice of bread my lunch and then a fruit bowl my dinner, but neither of these are warm meals. Then I will snap at night and realize oh fuck I haven't had a warm meal in over a day. I forgot to eat a warm meal for 42 hours this week. Literally how does anyone. My friend suggested I start putting alarms on my phone. Probably the best idea, but something in me is against it. In any case this silly slave has to figure her shit out because her body has endured quite a lot of punishment for these fuck ups. Not just for that, I genuinely need a healthy relationship with food. Still in the works, but slowly slowly slowly I will get there.

Generally too just stressed out about the Christmas season, but I know life will work out just like it always does.

I wish I had more energy to be a better mom, a better slave and just a better human. Screwing up and walking around feeling like a stupid fat failure is eating me alive. I drafted up a plan on exercise, family time and such which has been working quite well so far.

Changing takes so long. I am not a patient person. This is bs. I would love to snap my fingers and have life working according to my plan, but that's not how this works so I will keep taking every day as it comes and making the most of it. Rather try even if I fail than to never try at all.

Thank you for reading my sleep deprived thoughts. Now a question for you subs out there. Is anyone else struggling to follow a stupidly simple rule?