I think I’m destined to be alone forever

I-F22-have been struggling so hard recently. I am at a bit of a breaking point. Socializing and trying to connect with people feels like a sisyphean task. No matter how hard I try it yields nothing. Even going to the bar to try and talk to guys is hard. As a schizophrenic, autistic, mtf person I feel like I’m another species from other people. I feel like the black sheep around both my family and everywhere. I crave love so badly. I’ve never had anything really and I feel like I never will. I compare myself to my family members my age and I feel so behind. Idk I hate my life. I wish I wasn’t me Had to get this off my chest