I was SA’d almost immediately after drunkenly attempting suicide

This happened about a year ago (male and 18 at the time)

So this begins with me heavily drinking and deciding to go out into the city, by this point I hadn’t planned what I was gonna end up trying to do. I pass out on a bench for about 15 minutes before being woken up by some genuinely really nice guys who offered to buy me an uber to my place (in hindsight would have been a good idea)

But of course drunk brain thinks I can get home fine and I don’t wanna waste these guys money so I (who only recently moved to the city for uni and didn’t have a great understanding of my halls compared to where I was) decided to head home myself.

I thought the quickest way would be through a local, unlit park. And as I headed through it, viciously drunk, my depression as well as a recent heartbreak began to dawn on me and I found myself on a bridge over a fast, cold, deep river.

I tried to climb over the railing, if I wasn’t so smashed I would be able to but in my state I tried for about 30 seconds and then just broke down crying.

Then came a man, he asked what was wrong, he brought me to a nearby park table and was so kind as I told him about what I almost did and all the reasons why. He helped me calm myself down and offered to walk with me a while

And then we stopped

And he pulled out his cock and started masturbating at me, like just in the general direction that I was standing.

I can’t say I felt afraid, he was short fat and old and I was tall, fairly athletic and young. I didn’t really feel anything other than shock for like a good full minute as we talked as if it wasn’t happening.

And then some animalistic part of my brain kicked in and I just started running with no clear direction in mind.

I think the worst part of that night for me was after when I realised I was completely lost and I just had to walk through this unlit park for about half an hour until I could find an exit, and then another hour trying to navigate home through the city.

Weirdest part is I don’t feel like this affected me as much as it should have? Maybe because it lacked the fear that, let’s say, a woman would have felt in the same situation. Or maybe something to do with how drunk I was at the time numbing the feeling.

Day to day I don’t really think about it, and when I do it’s just one of multiple bad memories that would pale in comparison if I told you about them.

Part of this post is just venting about what happened. But as well as that if anyone has some sort of insight as to why I don’t feel as strongly about this as I feel I should that would be real helpful.