i feel patronized

Up until a few weeks ago I was able to ignore discussions about size despite the fact that I am black. but i ended up caving and measured myself only to realize I am well under the global and country average. So I tried to find a work around, but each solution felt more emasculating then the last. Every post was filled with people suggest that suggesting different methods compensation, or searching for a unicorn. It feels like an extension to my pre-existing anxiety, "You have to do Y 10x better if you don't want to be less then the standard person" and the people that might genuinely enjoy & not just tolerate/settle for or fetishize/humiliate all of you are an ever shrinking minority you'll never meet.