Goodbye letters for school assignment

I have an assignment in my class where we plan out our funerals, write our obituaries, and write “goodbye” letter to those we love… I fear if I write those letters I won’t make it home from school.

Every time start writing them it quickly turns into a S note. I don’t want to die. But I feel like such a burden. I have so much remorse and guilt that I feel like it’s best for everyone if I do. There’s this motivation to change myself but I’m in a constant battle with these thoughts/feelings.

I’m afraid that writing those letters will let the thoughts win.

…unfortunately it’s too late to switch the assignment.