Meta Dilemma

I’ve got myself (28F) into an interesting situation and will try to explain this clearly, not searching for advice but mainly just to rant and seek perspectives cause I need to get my emotions in check

Anyways, back in June I left my husband, however we were still going to be living together as we just resigned a lease and can’t afford to break it or physically separate anyways

Within 3 days I met a guy through facebook and we hit it off, I fell hard af for this man. Will refer to him as “J”(34M) He was everything I ever wanted and had everything my husband didn’t. He initially was willing to wait this out with me until I could separate however ultimately decided it wasn’t feasible although he was never going to walk out of my life he promised to stay by me but just as best friends.

This crushed me but after a few weeks I was able to adjust to the new dynamic and just thankful I still had him around.

We went through a hiatus for a bit cause life happened but we reconnected and he was saying how he missed me and everything and got a little flirty I called him out on it but he said it was fine as his gf (who he started dating within a month of us breaking things off) doesn’t care and they are trying to find a partner either for both or just her and I had told him I obviously still liked him and I think she’s hot af. He introduced us and after a week I went to go meet her “D” (24F)

It was honestly like love at first sight Hanging out all of us we got along really well and everything just felt peaceful for once Her and I truly connected just as quickly as he and I did initially.

She asked me to be her gf and I said yes and then it turned into she wanted all of us to date so we entered into things as a thrupple

We all slept together that day and all the feelings I had for J resurfaced. I watched how he would treat her primarily and after spending the night this past weekend I got crazy jealous It ended up causing her to get insecure and she wanted him and I to just be friends I’m devastated I want D too and her and I are fine but now I feel like our dynamic is so weird, she’s dating the man I wanted more than anything just 5 months ago. Him and I got a taste of actually being together but now we’re not so he’s barely talking to me even as friends now and after trying to talk about it yesterday and ending up in us all arguing for hours I just dropped it

At the end of the day, I still really like D and want to be with her Even if it means not having J as anything more than friends again. It’s not feasible for her and I to hang out privately due to schedules so he’s almost always around when I see her

How do I get over previous deep feelings for my meta?