Had an embarrassing night of hookups

I'm in my apartment just plain embarrassed after tonight.

First hookup was my second time meeting up with this guy & I decided I wanted to bottom for him (I'm normally a side, but he's vers so the first time we met I fucked him & this time I wanted us to take turns). I cleaned, the water was coming out clear. I finish 45 minutes before we meet.

Not even 5 mins into me bottoming, he pulls out & it's just the worst thing you can imagine. Idek what happened, but it's like I might as well not have cleaned at all. He didn't kick me out, but he bottomed & had us finish real quick. First time I was there for hours, this time maybe 20 mins including cleaning after the incident. Pretty sure I'm never gonna hear from him again.

Of course it doesn't stop there. You think it would, but of course I needed to feel like I had pleasured at least one person or whatever.

Found another dude for oral. It's literally my preference. I do it all the time. Easy Peasy.

Nope.

I can not get this dude hard. In fact he has notes. I was apparently too tight so I loosened up. Then I was scraping so I wrapped my lips around my teeth. That's uncomfortable. I got to a point where as far as I could tell I basically just had my mouth opened wide & my tongue was gliding along his member.

He laughs to himself & I (probably way past when he wanted me to leave) finally get the hint & just get my clothes on & leave.

First hookup was all me; there's a reason I don't like bottoming. It doesn't feel like much to me & I can never get the prep process down. It either takes hours or there's an uninvited guest.

Second hookup? I can't tell if I was just off, or he was just very particular in his needs, or if I have the worst head known to man & no one has told me including some of the guys I've met with consistently. That's a fun thought, isn't it?

I'm just gonna watch Bob's Burgers or something. I already hardly hookup, but I'm definitely taking a break now.