Toxic fatherinlaw?

Yes it's a question because I still feel rude and unhappy with this thought.

My husband and I are on the same page about all this. So what I'm about to say isn't something my husband isn't aware of/I'm not talking about his dad behind his back 😂 maybe we're looking to vent. Advice? Not sure. Venting sounds right.

I've been with my husband forever. Highschool sweethearts. I've seen his family go through it. We've been through it. Us as a couple are fantastic. Super happy. And then there's his dad... He's always been strange with his method of discipline. And I'm not saying it's wrong. Cause parents y'all do whatever with ur kids. As long as it ain't child abuse/neglect of course but I'm not gonna get into it. He's just always been quick to anger. Quick for action, results, answers. You didn't answer fast enough, you didn't do something right. Everyone is always wrong he's always right. Never apologizes for anything. Constant disrespect to everyone. All his kids, even me. He's always one to preach respect is earn. And maybe I'm not one to judge if we have earn it. But with what we've done and been through. I can say I believe my husband deserves respect for sure.

So the reason for the rant today. Is because we've had enough. The disrespect has gone on for too long and we finally want an apology. Long story short, inlaw asked for our kids Christmas list. She's 16 months. And we don't have the time to make a list exactly how they want it. The list they want is what toy. What does it look like. Where is it how much, etc. all the info. So I'm kinda a people pleaser so I'm like uh ok I can try and make a list I guess but y'all can buy her literally anything. She's so small she'll be happy with anything you get her. The spirit of Christmas isnt how much money y'all spent or did she get what she wanted. Which do kids this age even have like a legit preference on what they get? Cause she just got a duplicate toy from a family member and was happy as can be about it. Cause she doesn't understand or even know it's the same thing?? She seems a box. And she's happy. Lol so yes anything at all. They know their granddaughter. Theyve seen her many many times. So uh idk be a grandparent. Go have fun shopping for her? I even said a book. She loves books. We're always at the library checking out books. She'd love to actually own them to have forever! But no. He demands it be the way he asked. And I said look. You ain't gonna get it then. I'm trying. But im not doing all that.

So here's where the tea gets good. To me at least. I'm laughing. Anxiously. Sorta...anyways. So then he goes on to say. Well I guess your daughter will be sad and disappointed on Christmas. And that you (my husband and I) don't care about family. Ok. So we went from not gettingyour way. To now our child will be so sad at Christmas because she got a duplicate toy. And we don't care about our family??? Because of a Christmas list?? So I say you know what. We're not talking about this anymore. And we want an apology. You can call us tomorrow to try and apologize about what you just said. Then proceeded to send another text with a line of excuses. And guilt tripping.

The disrespect has gone too far and we cant take it anymore. He's disrespectful inour home. Constantly making fun of us for our hobbies, what we enjoy, what we eat, how we raise our kid, how we dress, our choices. EVERYTHING!! Dude has to FORCE his daughter to call him. She lives out of state from him and he pays for her phone. But seriously? Does this all not say something?? I'm so tired. I'm stressed and so mad. I'm hoping venting it all out can just let me sleep. Lol I got so worked up about it. But it felt good to stand up to this finally.