I (18F) fucked up by accidentally hitting my boyfriend (19M)

Okay I know how the title sounds, but before you come for me in the comments, i’ll just say that I already know i’m a terrible person for this and honestly just wish i could disappear at this point.

Last night my (18F) boyfriend (19M) was staying over at mine, we had been out with friends and were both blackout drunk (to the point where neither of us can fully remember what happened that night).

We were joking around and as part of what in my head was harmless banter at the time, I lightly slapped him on the chest a couple of times. All of a sudden his mood changed and he just went “please don’t do that, i don’t want to end up punching you” - for context, he has NEVER laid hands on me, or any woman, but has had 2 exes who were physically abusive to him, as well as having grown up with abusive parents. So me slapping him, whilst i wasn’t trying to hurt him (i am not a violent person, and would never intentionally be violent towards him, or anyone i care about for that matter), clearly triggered him. I of course immediately apologised profusely.

Not long after, he started crying and apologising over and over again, saying that what he’d said to me was too harsh. I told him not to worry about it as I’m the one that should be sorry, and comforted him and hugged him tightly until he fell asleep.

We talked it through in the morning, he apologised and said he overreacted and it just triggered him as his head already isn’t in a good place (due to other stuff, which i know about), and I apologised again and promised i won’t do that again now that I know it triggers him.

But I still feel terrible about it because i feel like the fact i’m never violent makes me a safe space for him, and now by doing what i did i’ve ruined that.

TL;DR: I slapped my boyfriend lightly on the chest as part of drunken banter, not thinking or realising it would trigger him because of his past.

also if you have any advice on how to proceed/how i can make it up to him, that would be greatly appreciated