How to come to terms with damaged relationship with AM?

I (27F) am already low contact with my AM. I only see her on holidays like Christmas or Chinese New Year, we rarely talk on the phone, and even in person I keep conversations minimal. This distance is the result of years of her behavior—she’s materialistic, narcissistic, plays the victim, and feels very entitled.

My brother has always had a better relationship with her, but even he recently had a falling out with her over the same issues: her entitlement and obsession with appearances over her own kids. Because their relationship matters more to him, I’ve tried to play peacemaker, but doing that has brought up a lot of old feelings. Before this, I was neutral—low contact, accepting things as they were.

Deep down, I think I still hoped she would change someday or at least recognize her toxic behavior. But seeing her treat even my golden child brother this way made me realize she may never change.

Now I’m struggling with how to accept that my mom will likely always be this person, and that we’ll never have the loving, caring relationship I’ve always wanted. I keep thinking, wow if she died tomorrow, is this really all I’ll ever get from her. How do I even come to terms with this?