I love him… or do I?

I(17F) have been with my boyfriend(17M) for around 11 months now. I’m the beginning, I felt like I had really strong feelings for him.

He bought me flowers. He didn’t argue with me. He was always there.

However before we got together, I was in a previous relationship. This relationship was an on and off and textbook toxic relationship. Me and ex(M18) fought 24/7, broke up twice, but I always felt that he had strong feelings for me. Once when we broke up, we both got with seperate people, and then when things ended with them we got back together and admitted it was just to make each other jealous. We then got back together but only for 2 months. These 2 months were crazy- he was like a whole new guy at the start, caring, everything I’ve wanted, but when we put the label back on it we were back to toxic square one, and I decided to end things for good. Fast forward about 6 months, and I met my current boyfriend.

I told myself I wasn’t going to date again and spare myself the heartbreak, but like I said, he was perfect. He reached out to me first and did all the right things. I agreed to a date, and fell for him fast. Up until now, he’s stayed this perfect boy.

However, sometimes I find myself growing bored. Sometimes I think a gross part of myself misses the fire and “passion” I felt with my previous relationship- or maybe the feeling that I could be my real vulnerable terrible self to him and he still loved me. I also find that some of the times I am most attracted to my boyfriend are when I find he resembles my ex( horrible ik). I also see my ex in school sometimes and seeing him is a huge trigger for me in a way I honestly can’t understand.

I truly think I love my boyfriend. And I know he loves me. I don’t want to ruin a good thing, and I don’t want to go back to my ex either when ik we aren’t good for eachother. Please help me cut these ties I have with my ex so I can love my boyfriend right.

TL;DR: I want to be a good girlfriend to my boyfriend, but still feel some kind of f-ed up connection with my ex.