Ripped some stitches and other crap

I wanted to post here because you all get it like no one else I know.
I got my DMX almost four weeks ago. I stayed flat. I got my drains out on day 9, could've been day 7 but they like to wait until at least 9 days. Everything was fine except I couldn't lift my arms very high in certain directions (still can't). Last Monday at three weeks out I noticed very light draining from my incision right in the center of my chest. I didn't think anything of it. The next day it increased when I sat up in the morning so I put the thick padding in the stupid compression bra and started wearing it again. It continued to get worse. I contacted my surgeon's office and they had me go in. Turns out some stitches were ripped. The nurse I saw used packing gauze (I think it is called) and explained how to do it and said it should heal up within the week and the gauze won't fit anymore eventually. She also gave me antibiotics and sent in a culture. I can't even look at it. They recorded a video so my husband could watch. I go back again soon to have it all checked up on again. I got my culture sample back and it was "rare" staph.

I am so grossed out by it all. My husband said the holes look better as far as the drainage and nasty stuff coming out but he thinks the skin has gotten a little wider. I have noticed some minor pinching feelings under the gauze with movement and I constantly worry they're opening more. I was told it is a sign it is healing which I hope is true. I had my husband attach photos to my recent message to the nurse so she can see if it is normal looking. I was worried they'd have to stitch it shut again and this whole thing will continue on.

Also, the glue they use on top of incisions is AWFUL! Start peeling at one week my ass. The nurse had to peel it off in the middle. She said I can but it grosses me out, it's probably why I got infected (I really have no idea honestly, I'm just angry about it all so I'll blame anything).

On top of all of that I had a strong wave of nausea hit me today and I threw up. I hadn't thrown up in more than fifteen years. Just one time and I felt off for about an hour after. Now I am fine. I suspect that it may be due to being very sensitive to hormonal changes. I suspect they are trying to do stuff lately by how I have felt at times. Slight nausea became normal for me at various parts of my cycle and I had another random episode maybe three weeks ago where I thought I was going to throw up and didn't. I am 36 and suspected I was in perimenopause prior to my diagnosis. Now that things were shut down for a number of months my body doesn't know what to do and it should be interesting in that area moving forward.

That's all of it. Thanks for reading if you stayed for it all. I am over it all. And I feel like I still have a ways to go with PT and keytruda.