Struggling With Llife

i am a 29M from UP and have been feeling low and defeated for some time
it was not so grim earlier

i fought tooth and nail to get math's plus bio in my 11th standard and then got pulled down by weak physics and chemistry

went 2100km away from home to study B.tech Genetic Engineering tried my luck with CSIR JRF NET but failed, pursued my masters in human genetics and then tried CSIR JRF NET for 3 years but still failed in between had a lumbar herniation accident so playing sports got stopped
only had one relationship lasting 4 months in my bachelors latter after that its constant rejection or people i met were already in one
so i chose to return to my family medicine business and plan forward in Feb. 2025

by sept 2024 i was handling my father retail medical shop by myself for most of the time but then got a job in nursing institute and joined there in sept 2024

the pay was too low so on the side started a whole sale medicine supply business after my 9 to 5 college job in Feb. 2025

then my Mumma got diagnosed with ovarian cancer in April 2025 her chemo began in may 2025

i had to quit the teaching job in July 2025 due to personal reasons

and in Aug. 2025 she was gone

after that since 28th Aug. i have been dragging myself to work every day handling home, a retail medical shop, and a wholesale medical shop

but i don't feel like myself anymore

i have stopped playing flute, talking to people, going for walks, cooking, laughing

and father is now looking at marriage prospects

and i feel stuck

don't know what to do

every conversation turns to arguments ; every askis just menial and i should only be focusing on work otherwise i am wasting time or making excuses