I think my husband's female friend is flirting with him.

My (23f) husband (29m) and I went on a four day long vacation to go see his friends who live out of state about six hours.

My husband hadn't been to visit his friends in the past two years. Because we got married and had a baby and had a lot of big life Events happen one after another. So we took my husband's only guaranteed weekend off for the rest of the year which just so happened to be my birthday weekend and we went to go visit his friends out of state.

I offered up my birthday weekend to go visit his friends because I had went out-of-state 3 weeks prior, to celebrate with my friends. My only request is that on my actual birthday, it was just us celebrating together without his friends. I thought it was fair. Because my husband paid for a big portion of my trip. And one of the main reasons we hadn't gone to see his friends in the past 2 years was because of money issues and stuff happening back to back.

Anyway, the first day of the trip was fine.We got there around 5pm dropped our stuff off at the hotel and immediately went to go have lunch with his friends. My husband's main friend group consists of two other couples. They were all married before they even met him, and he has been friends with them for about seven years now.

One of my husband's female friends from this group has this thing where she will playfully hit and pinch him as punishment for not visiting/calling and texting often. Now she does other things like peer pressures him into buying her stuff when they're together and also claims he abandoned her when he moved to the current state We are living in.

I thought this was just a dynamic of their friendship and haven't said anything about it. In the past, they live states away. And this is only the second time i have met this girl face to face. However, during the trip, there are 3 things that happen. That made me feel really uncomfortable with how she treats my husband.

The first thing happened while we were waiting outside for our breakfast reservation. My husband was sitting on the ground, playing with our one year old daughter. When his female friend came up behind him and started running her finger through his hair and plucking out all of his gray/ silver hairs. My husband did ask her to stop because he is really insecure about his gray hair is considering he's only 29 and she was plucking them out of his head and showing them off to the other members of the group.

I felt some type of way about it. But in the end didn't say anything. Mostly because everyone acted like it was normal, and i also didn't wanna ruin the mood or get accused of being insecure.

The second thing to happen was when we were still waiting outside for our reservation, but decided to take our daughter into the inside waiting area because it had gotten hot out. It was just me and my husband and the female friend followed us in to wait with us.

My husband was standing up against the wall next to me when he pointed out the photo across of us was hung crooked. he then called the female friend over to also show her how badly the photo was hung on the wall. Instead of standing next to him. She put her back to his chest to see what he is seeing. Once again, I feel uncomfortable because at this point I feel like she's making excuses to touch him.

The third thing happened later on that day after after we had all met up for lunch. That particular female friend went home after breakfast to take a nap because she had received some unfortunate news and wasn't feeling well. My husband had called and texted her and her husband to see if they wanted to join us for lunch. But since he didn't get a reply, he assumed that she still was not feeling well and didn't reach out again because he wanted to give her space. She then called him and started crying hysterically, saying that he purposely left her out and didn't try hard Enough to contact her so they could all hang out together and accused him of doing it on purpose.

This time I did say something I pulled my husband aside and told him that I felt that her behavior was really strange and I don't think she treats him the same way she treats the other members of the group and she treats him unfairly. My husband was the only member of the group to have contacted her and asked her if she wanted to get lunch and yet she was only upset with him because she felt left out.

When we got home, me and my husband talked a little bit more in depth about what happened during the trip, and if he thought she was flirting with him. He said he doesn't think she's flirting with him. But he also pointed out to me that when we first met and I started flirting with him to get his attention, it took him a month and two of his friends to say something for him to get the hint.

My friends say that she was 100% flirting with him. Even though she has a husband and even if she wasn't flirting with him, what she was doing was very disrespectful to our marriage.

I have had issues with his friend group, and this particular female friend in the past. Like when we got pregnant, she did call and tell him that it was unfair that I was able to get pregnant when she was struggling with infertility issues. I don't know if she has an issue with me particular because of that or because of race. (I'm black and my husband is white so are his friends)

I'm not worried because one my husband hated the drive up there and says that he refuses to drive six hours out of state again and that if his friends want to see him they can meet half way in another state. And also I just really trust my husband during the trip I wasn't thinking she was going to steal him from me more or less. I was uncomfortable that she touches him the way that I touch him when I want to be close to him to him in public. ( light taps and small pokes to get his attention)

Me and my husband do go through each other's phones. Not to look at each other's messages. But I do go through his phone to look at photos because he had a lot of photos of our daughter and he does the same with mine. I don't know if I should consider looking through their messages to see if she has said anything that is flirting like. If she has, I don't really think my husband would get that she was flirting i love him to death, but he is, as we say, very smooth brain. He has a d h d and also was emotionally manipulated and abused by his mother growing up, so he sometimes feels the need to over apologize or just let things play out, even if he's uncomfortable so he's not ruining the mood or making anyone upset.

I feel like this female friend behavior is inappropriate. But I also know that if I or my husband say something about it more or less, he will get cut out of the friend group for overreacting. So considering that we will most likely will not be visiting again anytime soon. Is it really worth said to say something or is enough that me and my husband are having a talk about boundaries enough.