Car turning on and off randomly with electronics going crazy.

I’m going to give a timeline of events.

Last Monday I drove about 60 miles. For some reason, every time I turned on my blinker or headlights or even turned on auxiliary lights my (I installed it 6 months ago) subwoofer would cut off. I thought nothing of it, it was just weird.

Wednesday I get in it and start it up and drive about 100 feet. The engine dies and I ditch it because I lost power steering. So I start it and hop back on the road because car problems aren’t going to stop me from getting where I’m going. Another 100 feet or so and I’m sitting there on the gas because it is dying and coming back to life over and over. I mean the engine dies and I don’t have to do anything it just comes back on and lights flash on the dash. Alright, I assume it’s the battery, I mean who wouldn’t. I go get a battery on Thursday, and put it in.

On Saturday, I go about 15 miles. No issues at all. I make it home and about 2 hours later I go to make a brisk 3 or 4 mile drive. I get on the highway for about 2 miles and have issues with cruise control not working (pre-existing, not sure if it’s related) Once I get on a county road (mind you, it’s been rainy where I live and it has made the roads bad) I start hitting pot holes. It starts rapidly turning off and back on, but I’ve got a quarter of a mile to go so I limp it all the way there. Every time it died the doors would unlock and all of the dash lights would come on. It said airbag failure twice, and it said parking assist off the entire time. Made my radio stop lighting up completely too. The second I turn the ignition off the battery goes completely flat. So I request to park it there for a day and they say that’s fine.

I come back Sunday afternoon with the old battery fully charged and put it in. It starts and runs about 10 seconds and then dies. So I tighten up the nuts on the terminals and give her another start and she just runs for like three minutes. So my ride starts driving away and I throw it into reverse. Couldn’t even get my foot on the gas before it dies. So we tie onto it and tow it about halfway home. Of course doing that with only lockup brakes isn’t great and we end up tearing a hole in the bumper. So we start it again and we’re able to make it home with it only doing the dying part 3 times. It’s sitting in my driveway now. I’m thinking I’m just going to not drive it until my mechanic is available and try to get it up there.

Does anyone know what this is? It’s very peculiar.

2010 Chevrolet Suburban LT 1500 5.3 V8 Flex-fuel 200k miles