**Me:** M31  
**Partner:** F26

Everything in our relationship felt stable and genuinely good up until this past weekend. We spent two days together before Thanksgiving, then went to my parents’ house for the holiday, and then I left for a short work trip. She picked me up from the airport afterward, and everything still felt normal. Our conversations, check-ins, and time together seemed healthy.

Things shifted suddenly after she went to a Friendsgiving with a few of her friends. She sent me photos, the food, little moments nothing seemed off. But when she got home, the tone changed drastically, and the conversation spiraled into a very intense emotional conflict that continued for hours. The screenshots attached are from the end of that exchange.

A pattern in our relationship is that she tends to assume what I’m thinking or feeling and treat those assumptions as fact, even when I clarify. She has also openly told me she’s “making big assumptions” or “creating stories,” but still reacts as if they are real, which usually leads to me being accused of things I’m not doing or feeling.

In this most recent conflict, she said things like:

* I never make her feel loved, accepted, or wanted
* I’m “a robot” who doesn’t know how to meet people where they are
* I don’t share myself with her but share too much about others
* Our conversation is “always about nothing” because I “don’t get it”
* That she’s “over this” and “tired as fuck”
* That I’m “too late” and never actually try
* That she has to teach me how to love her, teach me how to think, and teach me how to care

Meanwhile, I’ve been trying to be more open, empathetic, vulnerable, and emotionally available than I ever have in any relationship. I’ve given her hours and hours to vent, process trauma, explore her fears, and talk through her past. I’ve tried to ask gentle questions, stay present, and listen without making things about me. But almost any direction I take, asking questions, being silent, agreeing, disagreeing, validating, or trying to clarify what seems to be “wrong.”

She’s mentioned before that she feels things deeply and spirals easily. She also admits she assumes the worst and then reacts to the assumption instead of asking for clarification. But when I try to talk about how this affects me, she shuts down emotionally or accuses me of making it about myself.

The part that is wearing me down is that no matter how much I try, she tells me it’s never enough or that it’s only because she had to “tell me how.” I love her, and I have tried extremely hard to show up for her, but I’m starting to lose myself emotionally.

I’m asking because I’m struggling with whether I am overreacting in thinking about ending this relationship before the holidays.  
I don’t want to hurt her, and I don’t want to leave during a vulnerable time for either of us — but I’m exhausted, confused, and honestly feeling pretty defeated.

**Am I overreacting in thinking about ending things before the holidays?**

**Screenshots are attached showing the last part of the conversation.**

AIO for Thinking About Ending My Relationship Before the Holidays?