I feel depressed but i haven’t been diagnosed

I moved to CA 2 yrs ago and honestly I was sad about moving ofc but I looked forward to living here and improving our lifestyle. When I finally went to school, it was such a different environment that I never really took it seriously and my grades were okay at 1st but it started to get really bad. I made friends but it just didnt feel the same since everyone already had established friendships i was just the floater friend. Never really connected with anyone and the friends i use to have in my home country doesn’t keep in contact with me. I cried alot when i came from school because of how alone and overwhelmed i felt.

I graduated highschool with okay marks but it just wasn’t good enough for university. Even if i wanted to go to university I couldn’t because i dont have residency yet and i cant even work so i’ve been stuck at home for months now. I’ve been using this time to upgrade my grades via online but I still haven’t done any of the work. I keep saying that i would change but i haven’t its the worst thing ever. I told my parents i would do so much better this time but im just here, existing.

Stuck in a loop that never ends and i cant even talk to anyone about how im still struggling with school here cus i’ve had 2 years to adjust but i still havent made any progress. I’ve just been alone never really had a deep connection with someone.

I felt like i didnt truly state whats making me feel depressed. I am in online school which sucks because i cant socialize with others i havent even talk to peers who speaks the same language as mee. I dont know what to do with my life anymore i dont know what i want in life. I have suicidal thoughts. Ive been thinking that everything is pointless. Even tho i really do wanna make friends i just cant seem to talk with others. I dont know anymore i hate myself and my life i hate everything