Lost my support system, been suicidal for a month

Posting this on my side account because on my main I chat in my city's subreddit and I don't want this to be connected to me. I'm a young indigenous AuDHD girl with diagnosed depression and social anxiety who has been bullied throughout my schooling years, and I finally got to a point where I got friends and I was doing meaningful things with my life. I became confident and not afraid to voice my opinions. Human rights is my special interest so my community is the activist community. I was recently told by my friends that I'm too passionate and that makes me hard to work with. They also say I don't take advice (I do, I just push back when offered if it inhibits my morals and I don't verbally say that I will take on the advice if I do). Their advice that I didn't take being that I need to moderate myself so politicians will want to work with me, I need to care about optics, and I need to learn how to work within the system. There's different types of activists, and that is not me. I'm not the type of person who will yell in the middle of the street for no reason lol but I am the type of person who rather works with the community than politicians. This came out of no where and I did not notice the atmosphere shift and was still joking around. Once I noticed it occurred to me they were all on the same level and have been talking about me enough behind my back, so I left. I have known they talk about me because that is the nature of the relationship and I have already caught them doing it before. It's made me regress to little bullied me whose friends kept talking about me behind me.

A few nights later I lost someone close and was not in the mood to have a conversation about the night before. I went to a few of my friends about what happened as I needed support but it's clear they've gone and talked to the other people and now no one talks to me. They said they know another autistic who had the same problem and was the problem which means I'm probably the problem and when I brought up how I feel around them as indigenous and that I feel like I'm not seen as first nations they also pushed that aside as well. Everyone avoids me and I'm no longer invited to anything. They're all hanging out together and I'm no longer part of the picture. They will literally even be hanging out in my flat and not invite me. They will do protests and not invite me. I've stop going to protests which was what made my life have meaning and I no longer have any wants to organise. I stay in my bedroom and I do nothing. For a group that preaches community, I have lost it in an instant and no one cares. They will talk to me if they need something from my networks or my belongings but that is it -- and yes I do give them what they need as I want to keep the movement strong. Now when I go to events no one says hi to me, and everyone ignores me -- which is why I stopped going. For a month now I have been suicidal but do not worry as I'm too much of a coward to harm myself even a little bit. I have been very open about my struggling to the people around me and no one cares. Instead they complain that I haven't cleaned up my area. I can't even leave my bed, so I don't know what to tell you. I called my family and they do not care -- they find it too difficult. I've cancelled three therapy appointments already because I just don't know what to say. I need support. I don't know what that looks like or anything because I just soldiered through when I was younger, but now it's too painful to bear. No idea what to do because my whole life and support system is gone. I'm not eating properly and I'm just fading away. I just want to leave the country, my land, and never come back. I've already been making plans actually but I just have no money so I have already been planning on selling things. I don't know, please give me advice or anything.

If the people I'm talking about read this, they will know it's me regardless of this being my side account. I feel that will also make things worse, but I don't care because if they won't help me and I need to keep looking for help because I want to live and feel alive again.