AIO for cutting ties with my family “because of mash potatoes”?

I arrive at my Uncle’s Thanksgiving (already stressed because I couldn’t find my stuff before leaving the house, causing my bf and I to be late) and I am greeted by my mom. I heavily dislike my mom and being around her stresses me out even more. We walk inside and I was immediately put on the spot in-front of 10 people by my mom, and she said that she made me a separate dish of her famous mash potatoes, without any cheese, for me to eat. This was my favorite dish that my mom makes so out of pure confusion and disappointment I say “why?” But quickly follow up with “thank you for making it. But there was no need to.” Quickly after my Uncle’s new wife (who he has known for 3 years and married this past October) intervened and said “well she knows that you don’t like cheese”. This woman knows nothing about me. I have a dairy allergy but I love my mom’s mashed potatoes so much that I took an allergy pill before coming over. But she said it so hateful and sinister that I immediately had to go outside because I simply had to separate myself. But she follows me and my bf out for small talk but it was just conversation about herself (but soon goes inside after I show no interest in conversation). Eventually we went inside to eat and I can’t help but want to leave because of what previously happened and I start tearing up because I didn’t want to be around her. My mom usually tries to humiliate me in-front of family so she loudly said “what’s wrong with you and your face” and by that point I was over it. I just said that I was sad and she immediately turned away. I got food, ate with my bf and tried calming down. But Uncle’s Wife comes to me holding my cousin’s newborn son who I haven’t met yet. She starts making fun of me and how I look THROUGH my newborn cousin, pretending that he was saying/thinking his mind and not her’s. I look up at my Uncle’s Wife completely disgusted and didn’t say anything. Bf and I quickly left right after. We were only there for 45 minutes. After I got home, I waited a few hours to text Uncle’s Wife, HERE’S WHERE I NEED FEEDBACK, I decided to text Uncle’s Wife saying how what she said was completely uncalled for and bc of her actions, I would appreciate no contact.

COPY AND PASTED CONVERSATION:__________ Me: I didn’t appreciate what you said earlier, about how you said I didn’t like my mom’s food. You had no idea of the context so you came off as extremely hateful. I love what my mom made and being put on the spot earlier by you and your hurtful words, I will not tolerate again. I cannot keep giving your actions and words grace if you continue to repeat them. I appreciate the food that you made for me and BF and I am thankful that you considered providing for us. But I would appreciate it if you didn’t continue to reach out to me. Thank you.

Uncle’s Wife: (my name), oh my gosh. 😢 I am so sorry that your feelings were hurt. I never said you didn’t like your mom’s food. I said she made them without cheese because you didn’t eat cheese. I know you are lactose intolerant. I didn’t mean anything bad by it I’m sorry that you misunderstood what I said. I would never say anything rude or hateful to you or try to hurt your feelings. I am truly sorry that you felt hurt. I always try my best to be loving and kind to everyone I cross paths with and I would never intentionally say or do anything hateful toward anyone and definitely not toward you or anyone else in our family. I love you very much.

Me: I have a dairy allergy, I physically have issue with breathing if I eat so much of it. So it’s not a preference of what I like. I love my mom’s mashed potatoes so much that I took a Benadryl before coming over to eat so you could only imagine the confusion and disappointment that came over me when she said that she made me a separate batch from everyone else. I’m sorry but you don’t know enough details about me to interrupt the conversation my mom and I were having. Previously you have cut me off one to many times, shut down what I have had to say, and have been hurtful with your choices of words. It was no misunderstanding on my part. I do not expect anything from you or Uncle for the following years. So please no form of gifts or celebrations. And I will do the same for y’all in return. I hope you respect what I have shared.

Uncle’s Wife: (my name) I genuinely don’t understand. I am truly sorry that you feel this way because I have always been kind and loving to you and tried to build a relationship with you. And Uncle definitely hasn’t done anything to you for him to include him in this just because you are offended by me. He loves you and hasn’t done anything at all to you for you to add him into this. I wasn’t trying to interrupt anything. I was saying it as in “your mom did it to be nice”. I thought it was sweet of her to make a separate batch for you because you have an allergy. I really never meant any harm. Again I sincerely apology.

So a few notes to spare: —My family is no where near perfect and are honestly all super hateful and hard to be around. —My uncle has done a lot of harm so Uncle’s Wide saying that my Uncle hasn’t done anything wrong is complete BS. —I personally think her tone switches up in the second response. I have never felt completely around her or trusted her. And her second response doesn’t match up with her first one. —I have been wanting to slowly cut off my mom’s side of the family for a super long time. My uncle, his new family, my cousin’s I have known for years, have all screwed my brother, my mom, or myself over horribly. I have prayed for years for a loving family and at a young age, I realized that there could be no divine intervention to help my situation.

I haven’t responded to Uncle’s Wife and have no intention to. My response to her was honestly some form of clarity I guess? I’m not even sure anymore. But BF tried encouraging me to not even say anything in the first place. But I feel like if I didn’t say something, she would try forcing herself more onto me since it’s her first year being married into my family (Thanksgiving was a big deal for her this year).