Another ramble about balding young

Most of my guilt for being faketrans comes from the fact that my reason for being one seems so 'vain'. For those who haven't read my previous posts, I am 20 and balding really fast, and the common meds(finasteride and dutasteride and minoxidil) haven't been enough to stop the hairloss.

So many anecdotes abt balding/bald transwomen transitioning and then regrowing back hair have led me to believe that's the only way I can regain a full head of hair. My hair has become the major source of "dysphoria" for me, and while I know how balding leads to panic responses in repping trans women, I have many reasons to believe my response is not due to being trans, but due to being obsessed with my appearance. And since vanity seems to be seen as a bad thing, I think it's understandable why I would feel guilty for this. Its like being one of those transmaxxers.

The worst part about balding for is how it not only strengthens faketransness, but also makes is so much harder to be man. As a mostly straight man, I won't lie that one of the things that helped me realise how fake my transness was is my attraction towards women. Ik trans women can be lesbians too, but my attraction always felt like a typical straight mans one, and what more, I actually liked my masculine characteristics when I felt they made me more attractive to women. So I think I have already exposed how much of a part being attractive plays for me.

Now as a bald man I am not dumb enough to not think that I would be quite unattractive. So there goes my chances of being in a relationship, and yet I would have to keep presenting as a man, when there seems to be a cure to my problems. And to be honest, I think if I lived in a western country I would have tried hrt already, regardless of whether I am faketrans or not. I guess there is nothing I can really do.