Help me understand how deep suppression goes

This is one of the hardest parts because it's 2 problems in one;

- we literally do not understand how avoidants' suppression works, on a physiological, psychological way;

- we have abandonment wounds that get triggered by their leaving, so we feel it's all about how lacking we were

I cycle between these two in my therapy all the time. Sometimes I'd go for weeks talking about the second, my wounds, my issues, then it all comes back to one again. i just cannot conceptualize the suppression.

Does an avoidant who rebounded even think about what we had? Do they even compare and know that we provided the safest, most caring, kindest love they ever experienced (by their admission). The love they crave and deserve? What does she feel when she has to see me? Can someone's suppression be that effective that they're able to stay completely calm and detached in the face of the obvious? I treated her like a princess, bonded with her family, earned their respect, spoke her language, took her to amazing places. How can someone suppress that hard to be able to not feel anything?