Is it internalised ablism/sexism or caution

I'm a man and this is how i feel on a day to day basis

"I wanna just cuddle someone tightly and squeeze them with so much love until they pass out and then wake them up with more kisses JUST THINKINGNG ABOUT ITNGIVES ME BUTTERFLIESS :Dddd"

So I'm like a man with dark features and I look "macho" due to my height.

But like the contrast and my emotional depth might throw someone off.

I don't know if its something I should be aware of.

You know how people say to take care of how you come across? Well I can't.

In person im always smiling at people like a curious child and not know what to say. I don't do it on purpose and idk.

I dont actually know how to behave?

It feels like "wow thank you for bringing me to earth i wanna see if i can cuddle and give money to charity" kinda feeljng.

But the amount of nonchalance and cynicism in this world is insane that you dont want to stick out like a thumbtack.