I get angry when my partner sleeps/naps while I'm awake.

I know where this comes from. My first boyfriend, who was an emotionally and mentally abusive asshole, slept like a rock.

And I don't mean your average heavy sleeper. When this dude fell asleep, he was only going to wake up when his body decided it had gotten enough sleep. He regularly missed school, appointments and dates with me because he slept through all of his alarms and/or me calling him over and over.

You could legitimately fire a gun next to this guy's ears, he'd sleep through it.

So whenever we met up and he fell asleep for one reason or another, I knew that day was over. Because even in person, it was impossible to wake him. Shaking him, moving him, screaming at him - nothing. And if I ever had any sort of emergency in the night, I knew trying to wake him was futile.

He was also just a bad person all around and traumatized me in multiple ways.

Now, almost 15 years later, I still get irrationally upset when my partner goes to bed early or takes a nap during the day. And I get even angrier when I am unsuccessful at waking them.

I know they aren't my boyfriend from when I was 15. I know they'd get up if something important happened. I know sleep is a human need, they should be allowed to sleep when they're tired and that I have no right to stop them from sleeping.

Yet, the anger I felt when I came home from work this afternoon and found them sleeping was so real. I don't let it out on them, I've learned to not do that, but to just sit there boiling with rage and not being able to do anything about it is just very unpleasant to say the least.

How do I deal?