my current condition with anxiety

so, I thought i'd give an update on my situation & just see if anyone feels similar or can relate, as at the moment even i'm not sure how to proceed moving forwards or process things.

for context, I was on citalopram for 6 weeks, then came off it kind of cold turkey, & it's been about 2/3 since that.

so, last night I ventured out to see my friend at the pub, we had a good catch up, & I was mostly fine (ish) I enjoyed chatting, & felt fairly comfortable.

however, he had to leave earlier than me as he was driving back to wales, I stayed on my own to finish my drink & that's where my anxiety shows & reminds me I definitely have it.

so I tend to just feel a bit awkward & wooden, almost like a spare part so to speak, I say to myself over & over "just relax, chill out & enjoy your own company" but it is always a challenge. I went to order another drink from the bar & even doing that I felt off. I eventually drove home & found myself super tired, even though I only woke up that day around 2pm! it's all such a surreal feeling, on one hand, i'm grateful that i'm able to get out & meet a friend etc, but on the other hand I know i've completely got an social anxiety problem, it affects my whole being, my personality, confidence, everything.

i'm not able to just enjoy being present anymore & always feel a bit awkward, I don't know if other people even realise it but in my own head it's 100% an ongoing problem.

can other people relate?