I don’t have any health problems, but I want to stop anyway.

It happened so suddenly. After 2 1/2 years to staunch veganism (including street activism) I suddenly feel so exhausted and unmotivated to continue. I understand the ethical argument. I know I can’t justify not being vegan.

I feel totally fine, too. There are no health issues preventing me from continuing!

But I kinda want to just stop. I hate myself for thinking this way but it would just be soooo easy to eat what I want again. NO ONE would stop me. Oh the power!! Imagine the things I could eat!

Another big issue is the social isolation. I’m confined to my activist circle. Every outside encounter immediately becomes awkward and difficult. How am I supposed to meet new people? This thing is causing so many problems on that front. And finding a partner is almost impossible if my convictions force me to expect them to go vegan eventually.

Additionally, I recently got into nutrition and biohacking and gym/fitness. It’s certainly possible to do ALL of that vegan. No problem. But how cool would it be if I could eat those same power meals weight lifters eat?

And finally, I’m so tired of being mad at people. Because I am all the time! I judge the people at the supermarket in line in front of me. I look down on them. I don’t want to carry this hate with me anymore.

Sometimes I think part of that loathing is that I am forgoing all these culinary pleasures and these people are just NOT. How dare they? If I have to do this, YOU DO TOO god damnit!!

I feel imprisoned. I want to be free. But I know it’s wrong.