I feel I've been impossible and a draining vortex all my life

It's self hatred for the most part. I was born without a thyroid gland (congenital hypothyroidism) that has been regulated since I was 2 weeks old and I go for regular labs to monitor the condition, but the baseline mild-depression has kicked my ass. I used to cry all the time as a child and was very sensitive & emotional. Divorce trauma and sexual trauma in my teens of course worsened it, as well as other times I have been sexually assaulted by strangers and emotionally abused by a good friend, someone who confirmed where these thoughts are coming from. Yet a lot of people come to me for advice and have been doing this since I was a child.

I have been battling health issues since my 20's and now I fear that I may have something wrong because I have been bleeding irregularly between periods. I was perimenopausal since I was 29, have been put on progesterone supplements which have alleviated some symptoms but the interim bleeding is ridiculous. I am now 37 years old, I love my partner, my family and a few good friends but I feel I have been insufferable and annoying.