AITA for messaging my friend's toxic partner that hes not invited to my microwedding

this all stemmed from me inviting a friend (lets call her Patrice) who my best friend (lets call her Sam) had a fall out with 8 years ago. I wanted to invite Patrice because despite the fall out between the two, I still enjoyed hanging out with her.

she expressed that because i invited Patrice, she'd feel more comfortable if she could bring her partner as a plus one. this wedding is for my closest family and friends (20 total), and her partner has been treating her horribly - it was emotionally abusive. i have not seen him in over 5 years.

context: i dont like him, she knows i dont like him. he has cheated, abandoned her in a hospital, dumped her multiple times, refuses to show up to holiday gatherings with her family. ive been to her rescue, putting her back together over and over again just for her to go back. its not easy to leave, i get it. ive respected her decisions but made it clear he is not someone i want to be friends with.

ive spoken to Sam multiple times (in person and over text) on why he isnt invited, but that ill try my absolute hardest to keep her away from uncomfortable dialogue with Patrice in my wedding planning. it's to the extent that i dont have a wedding party and im keeping socialization to a minimum.

everytime she talked about it, i made it clear that this was one boundary im not willing to budge on. i was willing to compromise by allowing her to bring a guest that's not him. but Sam told me that he was excited about my engagement and wanted to be at my wedding. so i asked her over the phone if i get the go ahead to reach out to him directly, she agreed. i would not have reached out behind her back.

I wrote a message as to why he isnt invited. (will drop the exact wording in the comments) it was the most civil thing i could say given the circumstances.

it turns out, that one message lead to him breaking up with her (again). she first acknowledged that it was toxic, and then started blaming me that the relationship ended because of me. she has called me "cruel" and that it was "socially inappropriate " and "none of my business" to begin with.

she changed the narrative entirely - from him excited and wanting to go to my wedding, to that it was her who wanted him to go. all of this has led to a massive falling out and we're no longer on speaking terms as of a few hours ago.

AITAH for sending the message that led to the end of their relationship? am i the one who overstepped??