24yo – Socially anxious, trying to get involved in my community, but I shut down whenever I see an ex. How do I get past this?

24yo – Socially anxious, trying to get involved in my community, but I shut down whenever I see an ex. How do I get past this?

Hey everyone,
I’m a 24-year-old and I’ve always struggled with extreme shyness and social anxiety. I get panic attacks easily but over the past year I’ve been trying to push myself out of that comfort zone and get involved in my local community more.

The issue is that I keep avoiding events that I’m genuinely interested in because I’m scared I’ll run into an ex. To be clear, I've been very lucky and all of my previous relationships were with genuinely lovely people and all ended on good terms. But for some reason, if I see an ex in public, I just freeze up completely and I can’t think about anything else for the entire night. It ruins the whole experience for me.

This has stopped me from going to anything in my community for most of my life. Additionally, I run a small craft business that really depends on me making local connections and showing up at events.

Has anyone dealt with something similar? How do you get over that fear or at least cope with it enough to still live your life? Any advice would be really appreciated.