AITJ Refusing to Help My Cousin After He Took Advantage of Me for Years?

I’ve always been the “reliable one” in my family. If someone needed help moving, I was there. If someone needed to borrow money, somehow I was the first call. It wasn’t that I minded helping, but over time it felt like certain people only contacted me when they needed something. My cousin Mark was the worst of them.

Mark and I grew up together and were pretty close as kids, but as adults our lives went very different ways. I got a steady job and tried to build a routine, and he bounced around between gigs and usually ended up living with different relatives when money got tight. Every time he messaged me, I could already guess what he wanted before he typed it out.

For the last five years he frequently asked me for “small loans” that he’d never pay back. He once stayed on my couch “for a weekend” and ended up living with me for almost four months, never helping with groceries or cleaning. I let it go because he always had some story about how life just kept hitting him harder than everyone else. I felt guilty saying no, so I kept saying yes.

Two months ago, something shifted in me. I got promoted at work and suddenly found myself drowning in responsibilities. I was exhausted all the time, barely keeping up, and trying my best to not burn out. I didn’t have the patience or energy to take on anyone else's issues, even his.

One night, while I was finishing up work at home, Mark showed up at my door without warning. He looked stressed and said he needed a place to stay “just for a week” because he and his current roommate got into an argument. I told him it wasn’t a good time and explained how overwhelmed I was. He immediately shut down and said I was acting “brand new” and that family shouldn’t turn their backs on each other.

I told him I still cared about him, but I couldn’t keep putting my life on hold every time something went wrong in his. He got angry, called me selfish, and left. Later that night he sent a long message about how I “owed” him because we were close growing up and he’d “always been there” for me, which felt pretty twisted considering the reality.

My family found out and now opinions are split. Some say I finally set a boundary I should have set years ago. Others say I should’ve let him stay because he had nowhere else to go and family is family.

I still feel guilty, but I also feel strangely relieved. It was the first time I chose myself over his endless emergencies.

I can’t tell if I crossed a line or if I just stopped letting him cross mine.

TLDR: My cousin who has taken advantage of me for years showed up needing a place to stay. I refused because I was overwhelmed with work and tired of being used. Now family is split and I feel guilty but also relieved.