What to do when partner never initiates intimacy despite months of conversations?

I’m looking for some perspective from other lesbians because I’m genuinely stuck and this has become one of the biggest issues in my relationship.

My partner and I live together, and for months now she hasn’t been initiating any intimacy, no affection, no physical closeness, not even saying I’m sexy or expressing that she wants me, nothing that makes me feel desired. I’ve brought this up many times because it makes me feel unwanted in my own relationship, and every conversation ends the same way, I tell her I feel undesirable again, she apologizes, and promises she’ll try or plan a “good night” for us to reconnect. I try and compare our parents who also don’t show love in those ways anymore and fight often and she just tells me to stop comparing her to other people instead of even taking it into perspective.

When the opportunities come, she doesn’t do anything. Then another week passes, I get hurt all over again, and we repeat the same cycle. It’s gotten to the point where I’m crying about this almost weekly because it feels like something is deeply wrong and I’m the only one trying to fix it.

She keeps saying I need to be patient and see that she’s trying and that she “gets anxious” about intimacy now because I’m upset. But I’m upset because nothing is changing and it feels like she’s only putting herself first instead of fighting the anxiety and trying to do something I beg for. It’s been months. I’m trying to communicate, not pressure. I love her, but I’m feeling emotionally isolated, undesirable, and confused. How do you actually talk about this productively when the same promises keep getting made but nothing changes? At what point does this become a compatibility issue versus something fixable? What should I realistically be doing here? I want this relationship to work, but I’m starting to feel really drained and unsure of how much more I can carry alone. Any advice or outside perspective would be really appreciated.