Life is hard and I genuinely believe this was it

Hello everyone! First, I wish to congrats everyone who got matched, this is a great opportunity, and I know the hard work all of us have put into this. Keep dreaming big and doing your best!

I wanted to share some thoughts in a written space with hopefully people that have gone through the same. I am an international student in the US, I moved out of my country (central america) 3 years ago. All my life, getting out of the global south was my dream, since I used to see all the amazing opportunities, discoveries, and just a better life one can get in places like the US. When I first got here in sophomore year, leaving family and friends was the hardest part, just the fact of not seeing my mom, talking with my sister or hanging out with friends was rough, but I eventually developed the mindset that all of this will be worth it in the long term, that education gave opportunities many in my country don't have and that it will be the one that help me achieve more than I have had imagined.

However life is not really how we plan it, realizing that I can't really afford most of the state schools since they don't give scholarships to internationals, or just knowing how most schools will ask me to pay 20K per year, when thats half the salary of my mom, or not being able to take a loan because of my citizenship status. All bureaucratic problems are annoying, but realistically fair. Eventually, I realized how my only solution to prevent going back to a place that will only try to leave me stuck in a working-class system, were top schools, willing to pay me almost a full ride, or in other words, extremely selective top schools.

QuestBridge was a light beacon in my shadow of uncertainty. I applied to CPS, really not expecting much about the system or how things work. Life is hard for internationals, and even more for FGLI internationals. However, without much anticipation, I was accepted, and just as their motto repeats, I was able to "dream big". Finalist decisions game, and again with an essay I put my heart into, working all summer on it, in which every paragraph was a view not only of my story but of my soul, I got accepted.

But now for the match, although I tried my best for every essay of the 14 schools I ranked, and repeated myself to always keep dreaming and trying, I wasn't accepted anywhere. And back again that shadow of uncertainty falls, and although I knew I might not have been the best applicant, with the best SAT, or the best essays, or the best ECs, I put every last part of me in that application, and just dreamed.

I know there are many routes, I know this is not the end of the road, I know many of you will think I am being too dramatic.

But for me, it is hard to believe I stand a chance, with over 10,000 international applicants to some of these schools, and they only taking close to 250 students. I really believe now, my game is done here.

So please, if you have something to tell me, I will really appreciate i., I just look for some comfort in people who might understand my situation. I want to keep dreaming big, but life sometimes wants you to wake up.