40 [F4A] Healing and starting over at 40

Looking to make some friends to go through life with at this stage.

I'm ace, separated, have kids. I like family life but I was with someone abusive who groomed me and trauma bonded with me since I was a kid. I started healing myself physically and mentally and was able to recognize that I've never been happy and wasn't the person who I should be, because I had gone through one kind of narcissistic abuse at home and then another with my spouse, that shaped me to be the person who they wanted just to get by, but who wasn't me.

My interests are childcare, meditation, yoga, and healing with music and food. I love the American southwest and want to move back there, as I was forced to leave as a young adult. I'm starting a career in music and therapy.

My ideal relationship looks like Fiona Apple's. Not looking for marriage or romance. I've always wanted to just surround myself with companions who understand and to help each other live our lives.