My husband games nonstop and I feel like I’m raising our baby alone

I’m 24F and my husband is 25M. We’ve been together since 2017, high school sweethearts, married in 2024, and had our baby girl in June 2025.

He has always been a big gamer, specifically COD and wagers. When we moved into our first place together in 2023, he set up his gaming area in the office and would play for 6–8 hours if he didn’t have anything “urgent” going on. We were both in college then and he was studying mechanical engineering. He ended up failing a couple semesters and taking time off. I believe the difficulty of the classes was part of it, but I also feel like gaming played a huge role since he would choose the game over studying or homework.

I found out I was pregnant in October 2024. He still played, which didn’t bother me unless we had things to do. We moved into a house in March 2025 and there was still so much unpacking and organizing left, but after work he’d just go straight to gaming (his hours varied since he worked retail at the time). We fought about it a lot.

When our baby was born he did take a decent break from playing. But now that he has a corporate job (7–3 Monday through Friday) and I lost mine due to lack of funding, I’ve been a stay-at-home mom doing side hustles to keep us afloat. I’m with our baby about 90 percent of the day. I also do every single night feeding because he has to wake up early, so I’m basically on the clock 24/7.

Sometimes during the weekend I go thrift or estate sale shopping for an hour or two and he watches the baby without complaints. But the minute I get back, he goes right upstairs to play again.

This weekend I asked if we could hang out as a family and start some Christmas traditions. He agreed. I left for about two hours to run errands like groceries, gas, and dropping off packages. I came home and he said he was going to start laundry, and since the laundry room is right by the office, I knew he’d sneak in to play. He ended up gaming for hours while I waited to decorate together. We fought.

That night I said I wanted the next day to be better, that I wanted us to spend the day together as a family. I didn’t go thrifting or make any plans. The one time I had to leave was to take the trash out at a family member’s house (grandmother is ill) that took about 15–20 minutes. And again, I got home we talked for a bit then same thing happened, straight back upstairs to game but also “finish the laundry”

I feel like I’m not being seen or heard. When he plays, it has to be hours and it has to be for a couple of hours minimum 3/4 because I guess that’s how long multiple rounds take? . If I ask for help like making a bottle, he does it with no complaints, but his “breaks” don’t benefit our family at all. My breaks are still chores: laundry, dishes, cleaning, organizing. When I get an actual break outside the house, I’m still working by sourcing items to resell.

He’s also diagnosed ADHD. I feel like when he takes his medication, it makes it even easier for him to hyperfocus on the game and lose track of everything else around him.

He apologizes every time and says he wants to do better and be a better husband and father. And I want to believe him. But I’m tired of apologies that don’t come with real change. When he’s upstairs playing for hours I feel that angry hurt resentfulness in my head. I get so angry I think of bad thoughts like “he wonders why I don’t want to touch him or be touched at night?” “I just wanna smash that fucking PC” things like that. I feel it grow everyday.

I love him. I love our family. But I’m getting so worn down. I don’t want to resent him… but I feel like I’m getting close. How should I go about this?