story time - hated for being socially anxious?

i’m coming to the realization of how easily socially anxious or shy people are labeled as rude, dismissive, or cold just because we’re quiet. loud people are seen as confident, and the quietest people are seen as a problem because we don’t preform how society wants us to

i’m wondering if anybody has experienced something like this. i’m an AROTC MS3 and in my school’s program at the end of the semester we do peer evaluations. you rank everyone in the class from best to worst based on their overall performance / attitude as a cadet, and write comments about your top 3 and bottom 3 explaining why you ranked them there.

i’m a very reserved, quiet, and socially anxious person. it takes a lot for me to open up to people. i’ve managed to make some friends non the less because i try to be as helpful, caring, and empathetic as i can to everyone. the people i’ve personally talked to said they ranked me high in the peer evaluations. i’ve had people tell me very nice things such as they trust me and they look up to me as a cadet. i assumed i would rank around in the middle because i’m quiet and don’t know a lot of people, but the people who do know me really seem to like me.

i was correct. i ranked 28/57, exactly in the middle. i was happy about that, until we moved onto the comments… i had one bad comment. my jaw dropped as i was read a paragraph of the most detailed and personal attack on my character and existence as a human. they said when people talk to me i’m dismissive, rude, hostile, and that i create tension for no reason. i was in such disbelief that i literally couldn’t speak. it took me a few minutes just to process what i had heard, and i kept trying to think of any reason someone would write something so hateful about me.

i eventually came to the realization that a lot of people see shy and reserved people dismissive. it doesn’t help that my voice is also very monotone. i wish i wasn’t like this but i can’t help it, this is who i am. my theory is that this was not written by somebody who truly knows me. i just find it so interesting how differently people can perceive the same interactions. there is not one person in the entire program that i have disliked, felt annoyed by, or ever thought negatively of. knowing that there’s somebody in my class who hates my guts makes me so sad, i really want to figure out who it is just to prove to them that i’m a nice person. anyways that’s my story! i’m curious if anybody else has had strange hatreds / misconceptions about them just because they are quiet. great end the the semester! 💀