I have a severe stutter and mild autism, and I can't take it anymore

I've stuttered my whole life. I'm 19 and it has taken such a toll on me. I've never had any real friends. People think there's something seriously wrong with me. It's hard to talk to anyone about how I feel because, well, I can't speak. I have a family, but I rarely see them, and only talk to them if I need to. Being on the autism spectrum makes life even harder. I just can't accomplish anything. I've never had a job, never done anything except graduate HS with a low GPA. I do have a girlfriend, but it's just hard to manage when I'm dealing with severe depression, and I don't have alot of interests, and I stutter, so I can't really be intimate with her. It's just so hard to do anything. It took alot of effort to even post this. I either am going to kill myself, or buy a one way ticket to Europe and be homeless there. goodbye