Food regression in autistic child after visits with mom — need advice

Hi everyone, I’m looking for advice and ideas from other autism parents who’ve been through food regression and sensory eating issues.

About a year ago, I entered a relationship with my boyfriend and his 6-year-old autistic son who is hyperkinetic. When I met him, he was non-verbal, still in diapers, and only eating soft foods. Over the last 6 months that we’ve had him full-time, we’ve enrolled him in school, potty trained him, expanded his speech (he’s now verbal), and helped him start eating more solid foods.

Recently, his mom has come back into the picture on and off, and each time he returns to us, we notice major regression — especially with eating, communication, and toileting. Food is the hardest right now. When he’s with us consistently, he makes progress. After visits, he often returns to refusing solids, having accidents, and shutting down verbally.

Right now he mostly eats chicken nuggets, fries, tater tots, Doritos, cheese balls, mini corndogs (only the breading), and will dip everything in ketchup. Veggies are a no-go, and even foods he used to accept are being refused again. I’m especially struggling with school lunches and finding ways to expand his foods without causing stress or meltdowns.

If anyone has: • food suggestions for sensory-sensitive kids • tips for expanding accepted foods • regression support strategies • gentle school lunch ideas • ways to help a child after transitions • or anything that worked for your family

I would truly appreciate any advice. I care deeply about him and just want to help him feel safe and grow at his pace.

Thank you in advance 💛