Reform Envelopes

Well, I'm hoping to receive a letter from Scrotum-faced Frog-cunt, and have been pondering on what I'd like to send Reform for Xmas. Obviously one would not want to send anything illegal, so that probably rules out excrement; mine or my pets. So I'm thinking maybe coffee grounds, vegetable peelings, mouldy bread, etc. Any further suggestions? Nothing illegal please.