partner is visiting his girlfriend that passed, idk what to feel, i need advice

Problem/Goal: Genuine advices only please, I already had enough of these harsh thoughts in my head. My partner’s family is visiting his girlfriend that died. I was informed the day before.

Context: My now partner had a girlfriend of years before me, she was very close sa family ng partner ko and she passed away a few years back. fast forward today, its her death anniv and his whole family planned to visit the girl’s family and go on an overnight trip there since malayo sakanila.

I felt disrespected, I was informed the day before and the reason that my partner told me was because he was scared i’d get mad and wouldn’t understand daw the fact that his family and the girl’s family were this close.

Immature thing i did: I asked him to choose between me or her, I know sobrang bobo. pero i was so emotional by the fact that they have been planning everything while i was clueless + he promised me last year that that was the last time he’d visit kasi he finally moved on and is ready to start a life with me now. I even threatened that i’d kill myself if thats the only way i could gain his love and respect kapag namatay din ako (it was stupid, i used to be suicidal but im 1 year clean now).

It got to a point where our away was so malala na pati his parents got involved and explained everything to us and gave us advice. na-understand ko naman pero, it just feels so unfair how i love him and his family whole heartedly but i feel like meron akong kahati sa pagmamahal nya. I feel like a dead person’s replacement. I dont think he had finally moved on. I asked for space and is considering to break up nalang due to the fact na i cant take it anymore + sobrang nakakahiya sa family nya dahil sobrang lala ng away namin kanina na sila na yung umaawat sa amin. his parents were so patient and kind though kasi kinausap nila kami ng maayos at inintindi both sides and situation namin pareho. until now, i am genuinely so confused kaya i need different perspectives on this situation.

please dont be too harsh i just need advices and thoughts on this