ROCD + guilt spiral over something tiny — need perspective

I’ve been dealing with what I’m pretty sure is ROCD / relationship-based intrusive guilt, and it’s been flaring up really badly in my new relationship.

A few weeks ago, literally two days after we started dating, I was blackout drunk and someone texted me something like “pull up.” I didnt know until the next morning because i was black out drunk but in the chat i had responded “kk”. Nothing else happened, no flirting, no plans, no intention. I didn’t even remember it until the next morning.

Logically I know this means nothing, but my brain has turned it into an obsession. I keep getting intrusive fears like: • “Did I cheat?” • “Was this disrespectful?” • “Does this say something about my character?” • “Do I need to confess every tiny thing to be a good partner?”

It feels like a pressure in my chest and a looping thought that won’t let me move on. I hate that something this small has taken up so much mental space.

I care a lot about my boyfriend and the relationship feels really safe, which I think is making the ROCD ramp up because I don’t want to mess anything up.

Has anyone else dealt with this kind of obsessive guilt over completely harmless things? How do you get out of the “I need to confess or I’m a bad person” cycle?