I am trying so hard not to break No Contact. But I feel I am dying inside..

It's just been 3 weeks since we went no contact. I cancelled the marriage because of the verbal and emotional abuse, but I couldn't break up with him. He broke up with me after that. Within two weeks he started following his first ex (they follow each other). The first two weeks I felt relief. All the anxiety was gone. But from the starting of the third week I am struggling a lot. Last week I have cried a lot and I dreamt of him every single day. I would wake up and suddenly the realization of him not being in my life anymore would hit me like a bullet...and I would feel this intense emptiness. I don't feel lonely. It's not like I need 'someone' in my life. It's just that I feel this intense sorrow in my heart that just won't go away. Sometimes I am not even sure what I am crying for...I just hear a so g and start crying or I start crying while I am just walking to work or returning back home. I don't know what's happening to me. I know I am probably trauma bonded and I can't stop ruminating. But I have been crying almost everyday since the last week. This didn't happen during the first two weeks. I was pretty stable. I feel this intense urge to just call him...I am not even sure what to tell him...I am not even sure if I want him back...I just 'need' to call him....I just need to know he will pick up....I just want him to miss me a little bit....